[*][t][h][e] [o][d][d][s][*]

"If the odds are against you, just change the odds!" I love that line, its out of the last book of that series I was reading... OK I'm going to try and explain all these books. Each series has four books. I had already read the first series. I had the last two books of the second series, but it didnt make sense so i never read them. Then I got the first two books of the third series. I've now finished the third series, then went back and read the first three books of the first series, now I've bought the first two books of the second series and I'm trying to find the third one so I can read that. I actually don't mind the second series, which is funny cause I didn't like it at all initially.. Problem is I'm absolutely obsessed with these books! Other than christmas and boxing day I haven't stopped reading them since I got the first two books of the third series!

I still like the idea of doing something with my time, like the knight idea, I'm just a bit stuck at the moment for ideas, so I'm focussing heaps on my riding (and reading, but I'm not proud of that one, I feel so lazy.)

Um the last time I wrote was christmas eve eh? Well Christmas was no more and no less than I expected (I didn't expect much) It just never felt like christmas...

Anyway my dad gave me an mp3 player, which is good but my computer wont let me download songs, so I have a grand total of about 8... i love getting old songs you never hear on the radio.. I like songs when they remind me of something.. Like I have everybody hurts by REM, it reminds me of this man whos now a quadraplegic, (i cant spell for crap sorry) cause his daughter sang it at this fundraiser thing for him.. I wasn't there but I heard about it and it just sounded sooo sad. The guy has to learn how to speak again, and walk.. he was one of the greatest eventers this country had.. i saw him ride once and I just wanted to drool cause it was so amazing.

anyway, I got some clothes... a pair of 3/4 pants (i hate three quarter pants but these are ok).. a black top, which isnt something I would usually wear but I'm willing to try it, a skirt.. i dont wear skirts, and paritcularly not short ones... but I have promised mum i will try and i did... a top from our shop (gar how unusual).. and another kinda pale green top which I like.. Umm oh a pair of those funny thongs with the heels, theyre nice...and that missy higgins cd.. tehe i love it. That was from my parents.

My family came over and it wasnt really that interesting, as usual... then the next day we had family friends over.. it was weird... really weird. ok the group of kids is (lol i hate the word kids but oh well) aaron, andrew, peta (GIRL), gavin, me, rowan.. in that order from youngest to oldest (i think) anyway it used to be the young group (the first three) and the old group (the last three) or sometimes gavin would switch.. but this year, cause we havent seen eachother in ages it was sooo different, the youngest are going to start highschool next year.. me and rowan are going to be out of school next year... and everyone had changed so much I hardly recognised them. so that was a little depressing, to be uncomfortable around the group of people I've known longer than anyone else.

Um after boxing day I went out with mum and my money (and a fair few vouchers) and bought a TV and a DVD player, plus some DVDs tehehe.. So far I have Pirates of the Carribean, Finding Nemo, Shrek (the first one), Ice Age (haha im big on animations arent i?) and just cause my mum hates it so much a Yu-Gi-Oh one! tehehe don't laugh, i was once addicted to it. Um since then I've been watching DVDs and reading lots..

Tomorrow we're going on holidays, it sucks, I don't really want to go any more. It will be good for my extension two, cause I'm going to set my story up there but I just don't like the idea. It was meant to be the group of family friends again but now it's not, were just going up to Peta and Michelle's (Michelle is the mum, who mum and I went to see oceans 12 with). I just don't like the idea of spending a week up there when my horse is finally starting to come good, Gendy can teach again and I only have 12 days till Mirrabooka and I'm just about shaking cause I'm so nervous about being in the top group for that! We dropped my horse off at Mel's today, and she's going to be riding him while I'm not there, but... it just wont work.. I have a really bad feeling about going up there and it scares me. The last time I had a bad feeling about something my horse died.. I don't want something like that to happen again... Maybe I'm overreacting or imagining the feeling but I just don't like the idea of what my horse will be like when we get back.. he's going to be a ratbag and I'm going to lose all my confidence and have to start again...

Humm anyways! Mum and I had this big conversation about what we're going to do if dad decides not to come back. It was really cool, we'll probably sell this place, then rent something in suburbia in Richmond (or near there) and agist my horses at Gendy's. That'd be cool because it wouldn't be permenant and also I could have Gendy there all the time and improve my riding heaps..And Mel can still come out and give me lessons, which is always good! :D Also I can probably do some grooming for a polo player to pay for my horses and whatever else. I'd have my Ps by then (this would probably be next year.. 2006).. and I can work really really hard on my riding and prove to people how good I can be *cough mum cough*... Then eventually we can move to the southern highlands or something like that and I can have my own property etc.. mum can have her cafe or whatever she wants to open and it will all be good. I just hope it happens. So for the moment that's the plan, I just hope it goes ahead.

Anyway apparently we are leaving at 6:30a.m. tomorrow, and will be getting back on my birthday.. So I will blog then and update on what's happened. Tehe hopefully I can get a lesson the day after my birthday and I will be happy again. For the moment though I'm off to search for the third book.. I really want to read it, as awfull as I feel by doing it. Tata.

[*][b][o][o][k][s][*]

I feel awfull.. Mum bought me the third and fourth book of that series and I haven't stopped reading except for a three hour break.. Basically I started reading at about 10pm last night, continued till 2am, then woke up at 5am cause i felt really sick and kept reading until now, occassionally getting up for food and to feed my horse. Finally mum is sick of it so she actually made me come on the computer (which is odd cause she says I spend too much time on here).. So yes, I have finished the third book and I'm now about a quarter of the way through the fourth. I want to read it right now!

Last night I was getting very angry at this screen for being so damn dark, cause I was scanning photos to send to my friend Morgan, but I couldn't get the brightness right cause of this damn screen! Finally we both gave up and she's asked me to send them to her if I can get it to work.. which I can, on my laptop, which is no use to me at all.

I really want to have a lesson with Gendy, but I doubt I'm going to get one before the Mirrabooka summer camp (which is the reason I want one, thus defeating the purpose). Actually it doesn't really defeat the purpose, I love my lessons and they are always usefull, it's just that I would particularly like one before Mirrabooka.

Haha I still want to become a knight or something like that. I was practicing my patience and self control at work one wednesday where the customers were all being a pain and my female boss was being a bitch to me just to make things happier. On top of that I finished an hour late again, which was actually two hours later than they told me I would be finishing originally. I was so pissed off and I have a sore on the inside of my cheek to prove it. I've discovered that's my best method of self control, either biting my cheek or pinching my hand.. works wonders, should try it some time!!

As for working on my strength I'm still a bit stuck, I don't really have time to go to the gym, and I've always lifted feed bags etc so that isn't really going to help me. Lol maybe I can put bricks in the buckets and carry them around like I do when they have horse feed in them?! I mean of course I can't become a knight or anything like that, but I think it would help my riding... maybe it will prove itself to be usefull in the future, I don't know. Either way at the moment I am doing it for my own satisfaction and I think that's quite enough! Tehe in all these thoughts I have also decided to conquer my fear of heights, its not a major fear.. I just feel sick and dizzy for a while, but I'm going to get over that I've decided..

What else? Oh yeah, it's christmas eve, so merry christmas to everyone (which seems kind of hypocritical considering what I wrote last!!oh well)

Actually while I think of it I should go ride my horse, maybe then mum won't notice if I come back in and finish my book. I think when I do I'm going to write another page of my extension two, then go upstairs and clean my room and wardrobe (again) thhheeennn read! Tehehe I'm going to go through reading withdrawal like steph and wilson about buffy... hahah at least I dont have buffy withdrawal! :P.. ahh thunder, better go ride now! Ciao ill prolly wml!

[*][c][h][r][i][s][t][m][a][s][*]

OK well I'm having some technical difficulties here, so I hope this actually works..

Anyway, what I wanted to say is what happened to Christmas? I'm not going into the whole point of it, I'm not Christian, I'm not a religious person at all, so quite frankly I wouldn't have a clue what the religious meaning behind it is (and for those of you who wish to inform me I don't really care). I justwant to know, if it is meant to be a time of joy and happiness etc, why are you forced to write christmas cards to people you can't stand? Why are you forced to have them over?

For example, every year we have my dad's side of the family over. Personally I hate it. I would prefer to just be on my own the whole day. My aunty turns up drunk, my older cousin and uncle and dad just talk about motorbikes the whole time, my mother and grandmother complain to eachother about my aunty, uncle, cousin and dad.. and my little cousins make a nuisance of themselves (such as letting my horse out onto the road last year and then watching me spend an hour trying to catch him before finally asking if they could have their presents now). If it's meant to be a day of happiness, why can't we spend it doing what we want?

I have friends who go to church every year, they hate it, they think it's boring and they don't believe a word of it.. but their grandmother makes them so they go! What is the good of that? Where is their happiness and joy?

Why do we have to spend our time listening to Christmas carols? These songs are meant to prove our joy, yet most people hate them. How many people do you hear complaining about them when you go shopping? Why do we have to listen to them?

How about Christmas trees? Is it really making the trees joyfull that people (not necessarily here but still) cut them down and stick them in a house before eventually they die and get stuck on a rubbish heap or shredded?

Do animals really enjoy being dressed up as different animals? What about when people get given animals for christmas which are then abandoned or given to the RSPCA by March.. Not true? Ask the RSPCA. How much fun and joy is it for them?

So then we get to the whole gift thing. Sure it's wonderful to give stuff to people, but why give something to people you don't like? Just because they are related to you. Does that really make you a better person? I highly doubt it. As far as I can see the gift thing just came around because people really don't like any other part about Christmas, so when you are young you are conditioned to like it because you get presents.

Call me a pesimist or a pagan or whatever, but as far as I can see that is what Christmas is to most people. To my family it's just one huge inconvenience. I really can't see the point in it!

So Merry Christmas to everyone, but I'm sure I'll write some more before then.

[*][f][i][g][h][t][s][*]

OK well I'm back on here to vent some more of my anger... I know that seems to be all I've been doing for a while but oh well! You get that I suppose. I had a big argument with my mum, it was stupid cause she was finally saying something which I had been telling her for ages and she didn't believe me about... then she said something else which i thought was totally stupid, of course i was good and didn't say that.. The conversation was something along the lines of this:
Me: Um I don't think youre right about the last part, but the first bit sounds good.
Her: Of course you don't think you're right, you didn't think of it. You're so single minded and you can't take anyone elses opinions.
Me: what? *confused look at sudden outburst of anger.. trying to be as blank as a stone (new habit of mine)*
Her: You're just like your father, that's why you will never get anywhere and will end up just like him! (thats about the biggest insult you can give me, considering what i think of my father)
Me *thinking of how blank stones can be* was I meant to agree with you then, even if I dont?
Her: Of course not, you are just meant to see my point of view
Me: I listened to your point of view then told you I didn't agree. You started yelling, so surely you're the one not listening to points of views here?
Her: How dare you! Look at you! You're nearly 17 and I'm 50, I think I know a bit more about the world than you!
Me: Am I supposed to agree with you then, because you are older than me? Does that make you right? *rock starting to crack*
Her: No! I just hate the way you are such a know-it-all! You're opinion isn't always right you know.
Me: Of course, I can see I'm the know it all here. Imagine how much of one I will be when I get to 50 then. *rock definately giving way*
Her: *horrified* get out. Do something else and stop annoying me.

So, needless to say my hole in my back paddock is much bigger and deeper now, and my hands are hurting cause i didn't put gloves on and I have blisters. Three on each hand, I thought that would be nice, to add to the three on each foot from wearing my new shoes yesterday!

I finished reading my book, and now I'm annoyed cause I want to read the next ones. I think I might actually go back and read the other series just to refresh my memory, cause there is stuff i can't remember and i think i would understand this one better if i could..

Oo apparently we're going up to the pony club grounds with Megan and Donna tomorrow, I'm happy tehehehe. Anyways I think I'd best be off now to do some reading. tata

[*][s][c][h][o][o][l][w][o][r][k][*]

Yes, I am amazing myself and actually doing some! Hahaha I have finished studying maths, every single thing we have done last term is now in my handy dandy little book (and if i lose this one I am going to SCREAM)

Mum and I also went out yesterday, looking for something for me to do/make/work on for a while cause I am really bored... and digging a hole in the ground is only good if you are really angry or something, cause at the moment I have hit a layer of rock and it takes forever to crack it all up! But anyway we found a book for me to read, its by tamora pierce and follows on from the song of the lioness quartet, which is one of the only things I've ever liked that she wrote, so I am reading those books. There's four, so we bought two and I finished one of them last night, so I'm trying to stop myself starting the second one or ill finish it today then be really annoyed cause I don't have the last two to read.

Did you know that it's five days till Christmas? Somehow it really doesn't feel like it and I'm wondering if it can be moved until I'm in more of the mood for it? Probably not but oh well, it was worth a try.

Well I have written 14 pages of my story (its size ten font, so it's nearly 8000 words) its funny to think that I can write 8000 words of that without any thought etc, but when it comes to my extension two it's really hard. I really want to do well with it but I don't know if I can. I want to do well in everything, I just don't want to work. I know I said this yesterday but it's true.

In primary school I did well, and didn't work. The things we did were too easy for me and I was happy. I never did my homework, but I'd always be in the top class anyway. Then we moved to highschool and i still did no work, and my marks werent bad. Then last year I started doing work and suddenly my marks are crap. I don't understand it at all!!! That stupid conversation we did between Keats and Baz I got a really good mark, and I hated it. I blabbed on about nothing and I had no idea what I was saying and I got a good mark. I think I just don't understand what I need to do to get a good mark any more. But the stuff we are doing is getting too hard for me to do ok without any effort, and that sucks.

So there was a nice little anecdote, but I'm trying to stop myself going off on the same path as I did yesterday. So I will talk about how I am having a lesson today (as far as i know) I hope it goes well cause I'm still not happy with my horse and yes. But I think that Mel said she would get on him today, which would be really nice because I just cant ride at the moment. I can't ride for shit and I hate it so much (not riding, the way I'm riding). AHHH I'm doing it again! Sorry!

Anyway I will tell you about the books I am reading, cause I love them. The last series I read was about a girl who wanted to be a knight, so she swapped with her brother who wanted to be a sorcerer. Anyway she had to hide it and pretend to be a boy for 8 years until she was discovered after she was knighted. She went off to live in the desert etc and it was very interesting. This one so far has been a little less interesting, cause this girl is still trying to win her shield, but I don't like her character as much as I liked the other one.

Anyway I guess I just like it cause I wish I could do something like that... Not be a knight, I don't really want to kill people etc.. But something where you need patience, and strength, and you have to work at it, but you know that as long as you put in the work you will get the result. I don't mind the whole "taking punishments even if you dont deserve them" thing, I do that all the time. I can take people yelling at me, and getting angry at me. Honestly sometimes I wouldn't mind someone punching me just so I could hit them back. But I can't, we don't have things like that any more. Sure you can do martial arts classes etc but that's not what I mean. I like doing things that people say I can't do, like I'm not strong enough or brave enough or something. Maybe I just like to spite people.

I just want to do something I'll get remembered for. Not even remembered, I don't care if people know about me or not. I just want something I can be proud of. I like horseriding, and I might be ok at it, and I want to get to the olympics... but I want something else. Sure horseriding takes strenght and courage and patience and stuff... But I dunno, I just want to be stronger and braver and more patient than I am.. and I want people to see it. My parents don't think I'll get to the Olympics, they don't think I have enough of any of those things... but I want to prove that I do.. that I have them all. I don't care if I'm smart or not.. where is that going to get me? I want to do something I enjoy, and I do it because I want to...

and oh god I'm off on a ramble about nothing again... basically i like running, and i like sports, and I like doing things, but thats not enough.. its like that song (cant remember it properly) but something like "there's gotta be more to life than somethingorother i cant remember the words" oo I just found it.. It's called More to Life and its by... Stacie Orrico.. and another one by Cartel de Santa.. so there you go, that one.

There, that's all I'm going to say on that topic.. I want to see so many movies, I usually don't see many, but I want to see: the phantom of the opera, meet the fockers, lol spongebob! umm, finding neverland (the preview looks ok, whereas the ads etc look crap, odd eh?), the incredibles, umm I think that's it.. but damn that's a lot!!! i hardly ever bother seeing movies!!!

I think that's all for the moment, I cant resist the second book any longer!!! cyaz

[*][b][o][r][e][d][*]

OK well don't worry, I won't be telling a useless story about shrubs today. I have no idea where that came from anyway! Well I saw Oceans 12 last night with mum and her friend. It was pretty good, her friend has a son my age and I usually like talking to him but he was working so yes we were just talking to his mum. (Just for Steph and Wilson that's who I was talking about the other night) Apparently his sister/her daughter is being a pain in the ass again, which is a shame, she used to be but then she got better, but apparently now she's all messed up and stuff and I'm meant to talk to her on Boxing Day when we have all the family friends over here. Don't you just love trying to talk to messed up 13 year olds? And an obnoxious one like that is particularly difficult to get through to. I dunno, her mum reckons that maybe she'll talk to me... I doubt it but I suppose I have to try, she can be nice occasionally, and by the sounds of it there is seriously something wrong.

Anyway I want to do some schoolwork today, cause I've been neglecting it. I've been writing this story on my computer upstairs, and its now 11 pages (which I'm quite proud of considering I only allow myself half an hour a day to write it)... So yes I want to do school work so that I'm more than up to date when I get back, I hate falling behind, I think that's the only time when I get stressed over school is if I fall behind and then don't understand something. That's why I dropped Latin. It's stupid though cause I don't want to be at school, but I want to do well, but I don't really want to put any effort in! They all kind of work against eachother! Ah well! I just yeah basically wish that I could end up doing well in school, but not have to work hard at it.

And if our next maths teacher is bad and I don't understand something I'm going to stress about it but I have nowhere to go cause I'll be down to ten units by then. Shite. Oh well... Hopefully if I beg and plead and hope hard enough they will be a good teacher and I'll understand. Otherwise I'll just have to get ms Irvine to tutor me or something. It's general maths so it's a bit stupid thinking that I won't understand it, but my brain has the capacity to make me incredibly stupid at will.

Hm I rode my horse yesterday and he was a little asshole, I don't know what to do with him any more.. I don't know if I really want to keep him, cause I've worked my ass off for three years and when you think of it simply I have gotten nowhere with him, he does the same stuff he used to do when I bought him, just at a higher level and he does worse stuff now too.. I don't know if I can take it any more. It just kind of makes it harder to get on with everything else when something I usually love doing seems to be falling apart. It just depresses me, and I can't even tell Gendy about it cause she just had her twins a few days ago and I don't want to wreck her mood. So yes I don't know what I'm going to do and I hate it, I just want it to be fixed for me, or to go back in time when I was still having lessons with Gendy and ask her what to do, cause it sounds really sad but I'm so lost without her advice, I have no clue what to do and it sucks. I felt so stupid sitting on him yesterday crying and the neighbours were standing in their back paddock just watching me. It felt so stupid but I still couldn't stop. Even digging that ditch didn't help my mood. I want to go for a run but I still can't really run on my foot so yes it just sucks. Maybe I should take up kick boxing or something similar that will get all my anger and stuff out?

Gar. I dunno. Anyway um onto happier topics. I don't really have any at the moment, the whole horse thing is just annoying me. I still want to go up to the farm but it's not going to happen, mum's idea of a compromise is going up to Ballaner (or however you spell it) with her and staying with the woman we were at dinner with last night and her son, daughter, husband, and all the other family friends. I don't think she quite gets the hint that I want to go to the farm to get away from people, not just socialize with more of them! I hate being social when I'm in a bad mood, and I don't see it going away so I don't see myself being very social. Then she'll get angry and I'll feel really bad cause she is just trying to make me happy by going on holiday, but I don't want to be around people any more.

In fact I'd be really happy if it was like last year when her and dad went up there and left me here for ten days. It was so good, I don't get lonely, I'm happy on my own. People are good sometimes but they just don't get stuff. It sounds stupid but I can just sit on the veranda with my dogs and come in happier than I would if I'd been talking to a good friend. Animals just get stuff like that, people dont.

This is sounding like a bitch session aint it? Yes it is. I'm reading a book at the moment, it's not very good but it's mildly entertaining. I just want to finish it.

Oh crap. Peters xmas party thing is on wednesday isnt it? yes it is. and I just told my boss I can work on wednesday. Shite. Sorry Peter. I'll sms him in a second. Oooopsss I knew there was something I was doing! Geez. Oh well, at least its a way to get out of seeing people. I'm considering what wilson said about staying in my room for three days straight. That'd be good. I couldn't cause I'm meant to be having a lesson tomorrow but it'd be good. Maybe I can cancel my lesson? Na probably shouldn't that's a bit mean.

Anyway I'm going to stop complaining now, so byez

[*][a] [s][t][o][r][y][*]

Tehehe well I'm a bit bored, so I am going to tell you all a story (if there are really people who read this) I'm not sure what it's about right now but oh well, and I have exactly 31 minutes to write it so it's going to be pretty short!!!

Once upon a time there was a person called Mandrake. He was very embarrassed about his funny name so he decided that he wanted to change it. He told everyone to call him Bob instead, but that didn't solve the problem of his birth certificate and passport etc.

He asked his mum how he could change his name. "You cn only change your name when you are 18, and anyway you have a lovely name, I chose it myself. Why do you want another one?" He just shook his head sadly and wished that the next 6 years of his life would pass quickly so that he could change it.

After a year of waiting to turn 18 he decided to take matters into his own hands, everybody was calling him Bob, he had a fake ID which said he was called Bob and some of his friends had managed to forget that he'd ever had a name other than Bob. The school however still had him enrolled as Mandrake. So he went to the principal.

"Mr Principal, sir, how can I change my name in the school records?" he tried to smile as sweetly as he could, which is quite difficult when you are a shrub, but the principal was proud of him for making the effort at least.

"Well, Mandrake" the shrub shuddered at the name "if both of your parents write me a signed letter saying that you wish to be called something else here it will go on the records and your files will be changed from now onwards."

The shrub smiled and ran out of the office in glee. Forging his mother's signature couldn't be that hard, and his dad was dead so there was no need to have his signature. Bob decided that he would write the letter that very night. However he needed a copy of his mother's signature to copy.

That afternoon he asked his mum to sign a piece of paper for him.

"Why would you want me to do that Manny?" she gave him the most puzzled look a bush can manage. Finally after he had spent a good while staring at her she gave in and signed the piece of paper.

So he ran off and typed the letter and traced her signature at the bottom. the next day he gave it to the principal who smiled at him and handed it to the secretary.

"Wow, erm, Bob. So are you going to change your passport and birth certificate as well? Otherwise when you get your license, or if you get married your name will be Mandrake again on those documents!"

Bob was worried now, his passport and birth certificate would probably need much more than a signed note to be changed! He asked his principal how they could be changed, his principal simply shrugged.

*****

Bob spent another two years wishing that he was 18 so he didn't need anything from his mother to change his birth certificate and passport. He had decided that if nothing could be done he simply wouldn't get his license and wouldn't get married until he was 18. The final one was pretty unlikely, seeing as he was allergic to female shrubs, and no other creatures were interested in him. So it was only the license he would have to go without.

This was OK until all his friends got their license, they all questioned him about why he didn't have one. They teased him about being scared, or physically incapable of driving. By this time he was pretty upset, and wanted nothing more than to just get a license which said that his name was Bob. He was even starting to wonder if his old name was that bad. He wondered this until he realized that his friends had completely forgotten he ever had another name and would probably laugh themselves stupid if they were reminded of it.

He decided he would just have to forge his passport and birth certificate and use the forgeries to get his license. Only his mother had to be there with him. First things first though, he spent months perfecting the forgeries until finally he could see no difference with the originals (other than his name of course). Now for his mother. His mother always had a bad memory, unfortunately this had never spread to the topic of his original name but he was sure that with a bit of help it could.

He caught her at a particularly weak moment in regards to her memory, and when she called Mandrake, he corrected her. She accepted this and called him Bob for the rest of the 'spell'. When she was back to normal however she was calling him Mandrake again. This went on for another six months until finally he decided he had to take action. His uncle was a vantriliquist, and could imitate other voices pretty well. He also called the boy Bob. So Bob asked him if there was any chance of him taking him to do his license test instead of his mother who was going through one of her 'spells'.

"Sure I will Bob, don't you worry young chap. Does this mean I have to imitate your mother?"

Bob nodded. He had already booked to go there, so all they had to do was turn up the next day, pretend his uncle was his mother and everything would be ok!

The next morning was bright and sunny (of course, it has to be doesn't it?) when they drove to the nearest RTA. They waited in the line for a few hours, happily chatting to eachother about how quickly Bob would learn to drive. They finally reached the counter by about midday.

"May I see your passport and birth certificate please?" the nice lady behind the desk smiled in a somewhat bored tone.

Bob rummaged around in his leaves looking for the brilliant forgeries. He rummaged so long that she had to ask him to move aside and let someone else through while he searched. His uncle helped him search, but there was no point, they were gone. Bob cried and cried until all his leaves were dripping and he thought his branches would grow fungus. Finally some men in suits came and took him off to a hospital so that he could be restrained. He was locked up there for the rest of his life, and called Mandrake because he hadn't changed his Medicare.

The End

Tehehe a bit of a quick ending I know but I have four minutes left!! Tehehe like the story? It's actually a bit longer than I anticipated, sorry about all the typos, I was trying to type as fast as I could so yes, I made a few mistakes I do believe!

Anyway, must dash, have to go ride my horse before I go out to dinner and see Oceans 12 with my mum and her friend. Oh dear, my cousins have just rocked up, what fun riding will be I'm sure, with them around it always is fun... No sarcasm there at all!

Tata!!!

[*][x][x][x][*]

Tehehe how cool do the x's look? I like them anyway!! [x][x][x] tehehehehe

hum well im happy now, I went and started digging the ditch in our back paddock and now im nice and tired and my back is sore.. hahah that sounds weird that im happy about it, but ive been feeling so useless lately cause I haven't been doing anything.

I had a little ditch before, so I made it a bit deeper, and now I'm going from there to the fenceline (where there used to be a logpile) and making it start small and then get progressively bigger and deeper. I think I should finish it tomorrow, then I'm going to improve my logpile (which I moved) and maybe buy some cement and make it a bit more solid. I like building stuff.. Only we don't have much room down in that back paddock, which sucks. I'm considering how I can build a fence, but I think I need a post hole diggery thing to do that, which could be an issue.. I wonder if it's possible to dig post holes with a shovel? Probably not!! Oh well I'll work on my ditches and log pile first, then worry about fences!

Hum well we hired Troy so that I can watch it for my extension two thing. I don't know if it will be usefull in any way, but it's entertainment so hey who cares!!

Oh and yay I finally posted my chapter of MEA. Tehehehe. Anyways I'm gunna start writing my extension 2. Wish me luck!!!

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Ahhhhhhhh watching that much buffy should be illegal!!! But then again pointless school should be too!!! Ah well too bad. Haha actually, having said that I am probably going back to watch the same amount of buffy again :S sometimes I even scare myself!

Tehe I have my whiteboard full of stuff I want to do over the holidays, well not so much want to do, I feel I have to so that I won't have as much stress next term and I can do what I want to do (i.e take it really easy and bludge) oops did I say that? No no wasn't me I promise!!!! Also because these holidays are my break from comps, which means I have those weekends spent away to make up.. and I have foresight and have decided to make them up in advance..

Tehe well MEA (our story) is underway finally! Wilson is posting her bit as I type, then I will post my bit so that she can start writing again!! Tehehehehehe! I'm looking forward to this story, I hope everyone (if there is anyone) that reads this is also looking forward to it. Actually I can't tell if anyone is reading this cause I just realized that when I changed the skin thing it got rid of the comments.. which just smells! Oh well too bad!

Okidokie well I don't think I really have anything else to write. I'm trying to organize my holidays at the moment, cause I have all these things I want to do and I haven't organized when I'm doing any of them.. Plus doing all that pre-catch-up work I am planning to do!!! Ahhhh lol not really but you get the picture!

Ciao

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Who would have thought there is a beatboxing website? I certainly didn't realize.. Actually having said that there is probably heaps of them! Hahaha I'm a bit sloowwwww...

Speaking of sllooowww, Gendy still hasn't answered my message, which is just rude! I really want to know their names and birsthdays and whatever and I don't have a clue cause she hasn't answered me!!!! gaarrrr!!! Anyway hopefully she will get around to it soon!!

Apparently tonight I am watching To Kill a Mockingbird with mum. Haha yes note the correct underlining there? Teheheeh I have lots of practice with all my assignments etc. Actually did you know that I managed to get 33/40 (82.5%) for my extension two proposal? I am extremely proud of myself... How great would it be if I could get into the Young Writers Showcase 2005??? (more good underlining).. I reckon that would be great. It would never happen but I don't care, I can dream.. Actually I probably can't dream cause you have to get 50/50 and because I just got 82.5% for my last one I don't think I can get full marks any more, plus that viva voce (or whatever its called) is going to be a little difficult for me, I can hardly make a speech well, forget answering questions!!!!

Anyway we had that party for ms irvine today.. Aww I so wish she wasn't going! I actually understand maths, and I'm actually doing well and if she leaves I'm going to fail everything again and then mr parrington will tell me that I should have kept legal instead of dropping to ten units and I don't think I could handle admitting that mr parrington was right.. Wow that was a bloody long sentence! But yes I'm not happy about this at all... Also most of the exchange students seem to have finished their "stint" over here and are now leaving.. Which I'm kinda sad about too. I suppose most about Anna cause I actually talked to her, but Sophia was telling me that she is going to miss it and how she doesn't want to leave! I would love to go on exchange somewhere.. Only I don't do a language which could make it a bit difficult, and I don't know that I could do an exchange program thing after I've left school (basically it's not going to happen) but it would be great. I don't think I know enough of any other language (mind you Anna assures me she hardly knew any english before she came here)... Some day I will go to europe and that and try and stay for a while in italy and learn the language, then I want to go to germany (for my riding) and I've said that if i do I will come visit anna too and she will teach me some german :D

Anywayssss I have dinner, so wait a sec! (well for you it's a sec!)

I want to go on a holiday. I just need to get out of Sydney I think.. But I don't want to leave everyone.. just this area and my family and yeah. I want to do something different for a while... I'll probably try to convince wilson and steph to come with me (actually I am about to ask steph)... I spose if they wont/cant I'll just go anyway... I really need a break of some sort.. I'm just not sure where yet.

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Damnit I hate finding out things I really didn't want to know.. I'm not reffering to the "ew that's so gross" sense, just hearing stuff about someone that isn't nice, and you don't know if it's true or not and you don't particularly want to ask them... I think at the moment I'm a bit scared that it will be true, and if it is what am I meant to do about it?!

Anyway it just kind of wrecked my mood for the day, because otherwise I would have probably been in a really good mood, what with the games of table tennis and lesson and finding out that GENDY HAS HAD HER KIDS!!! OMG IM SO EXCITED!!!!!!!!!!!!! lol!!!!! and i still haven't sent her xmas prezzie thing.. which I should probably do. In fact I will wrap it now and send it tomorrow!!! Brb! (not that it makes a difference to anyone reading this!!)

Tehe ok well I wrapped hers but we don't have any baby paper for the other stuff (which mum assures me is absolutely essential! So we will get that tomorrow and send it on wednesday or thursday... :D

Hum what else can I do, I was going to look up on that victorian era thingo and I should probably do some photocopying of articles tomorrow up at the library, or ask steph to lend me hers so I can photocopy it at home.. hmm that would be good, if she would let me.. na I'll just pay to photocopy them there... Anywayas I'm off to do school work (joy) and I'll write some more of the story! tehehe byez

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:( one of my little piggies is dead.. Poor little guy.. but im worse than I thought, im hardly upset at all.. so I suppose that frowny face is a bit of a lie. Like I feel sorry for the little thing but still.

I got a new skin, in case you couldn't tell.. I like it, but it really is messy cause I think i've stuffed up some of the stuff, oh well... anyways im gunna go now.. tata!

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Yay I rode my horse this morning, for the first time in 5 weeks, that's the longest I've gone without riding him in nearly 3 years (which is when i got him!)...
Ooo I wonder when Gendy is due! Tehehe that's so cool! Tehehehehe
Apparently I'm going to dinner and movies tonight.. Hummmmmm yes yes apparently I am...
I don't really have anything else to say so tata

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Hm so hopefully my font won't screw up this time! I have planned to do a lot of work over the holidays so that I am back up to date before I get back to school, and because it feels as though my holidays have already started, I aim to begin this weekend... Honestly with all these assesments and stuff I am so far behind I can't even see where I'm meant to be any more!!

Wow apparently grandparents come in handy for something (ah that sounded a little mean didn't it?.. naaa if you don't know my grandmother consider yourself lucky.. even if it means that you think I am a very mean ungrateful person)... anyways my grandmother might be paying for me to go to Egypt.. Problem? I told mrs evans today that I couldn't go, and i have conveniantly left my wallet (with her card in it) in my locker at school, and she said she was going to have to tell the airline people that they should cancel my seats.. I guess if she has already done that I will just be happy to know that now I am not missing out on my future car.. If she hasn't done it yet I will be paying her a deposit on monday and organizing to have my passport re-done.

Ah work was pretty good last night, i screwed up a lot, but so did Rose and Mr Ho's son.. so it was all good.. Then I got paid $3 extra PLUS I got a free coke! Lol! Sounds pathetic doesn't it? But my feet are absolutely killing me, I don't know where they acquired the hammers they are banging into my bones but I really wish they hadn't found them...

Hum what else?? My mum is going out tonight, which means that I will have fun being home alone and replying to Sarah's letter... It also means that I can cook my own dinner (which is always fun) and finish reading BNW for english (what fun my life is! lol)...

I think that's pretty much all the news from today, oh except we may have a plot for Middle Earth Academy.. Shite and I have to send Wilson that pic, thanks for reminding me... But anyway I'm sure it will be exciting once it starts, which was meant to happen tonight but Chinese food and a party are much more important :'( lol!

Anyways I had best be off now... tata to you all (STEPH GET BACK ON MSN YOU EVIL THING!!!!!)
Ciao

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"So this is Christmas
what have we done?
Another year over
and a new one's just begun.
A very merry christmas
I hope you have fun.
The near and the dear ones
The old and the young."

Hum well the words could be wrong in that but it's just stuck in my head at the moment, actually (and nobody is allowed to laugh at this, it's one of my weird memories i pull up from god knows where and just say them) I remember Delta singing that at the AMA hotel when the choir was performing for some reason. I remember it cause she had a cold and a really sore throat and couldn't sing in the rehearsals because she could hardly speak.. Haha I can't believe I remember stuff like that!

So only the ancient history test left as far as assesments go, and really I should be studying for it so I can do reasonably but I'm just sick of it. I'm sick of school generally. I'm sick of people there. Actually that's not true.. I think I'm sick of socializing, it takes more energy than I really have at the moment.. then I feel like a hypocrit cause I'm not talking to people as much as I'd like to. Haha call me weird but oh well. I suppose I'll just get back into being a social creature by the end of the holidays. See that's why I like MSN, conversations take no effort. Actually nobody is on MSN at the moment which just sucks but oh well, more time to write on here (and I'm sure you all want to read what I have to say)..

Oh I know!! I'll continue on The Quest For The Holy Glory
Tehe look important? Anyways!!! I think I know where I'm up to!

Glory is who Somebody wanted to meet. So it went on a journey, to find Luck. Somebody already had Ambition following it, stalking it even, but Somebody wanted more, it wanted the love of Luck too, which would in turn attract the ultimate Grace; Glory.

Unfortunately for Somebody he was unLucky, so while seraching for the Luck and Glory it was pitted agains Fate. Fate was a spiteful creature, and didn't like Somebody's attempt to be in posession of all three Graces. Fate believed that this state should only be reached in the conventional way. That is, to have Luck first, which would help the person to acquire Ambition, and finally Glory.

Somebody had (as you know) Ambition with it, and turned Ambition's powerful gaze towards finding Luck. The next question of course was where did Luck live exactly? Somebody set off on the path it believed would lead to Luck. This was a treachurous path, filled with womabt holes and mulberry bushes. Somebody was oblivious to the fact that it had in fact made that path more difficult for itself. It had forgotten (as it was quite prone to do) Ambition's appearance.

Fate had seen this of course, and put into Somebody's future a twist of Truth. Fate laughed wickedly as it placed a three-pronged fork into the path. It put with this a signpos, on this Fate wrote:

"Choose your path but beware
when large as a lian, even a hare
may do some damage to your Gate
or the pathway to your Fate."

With this, Fate added a large boulder to each path entrance. In the middle entrance it placed a gate before placing the boulder on top (crushing the small gate). For good measure it added the bones of a large hare near this particular entrance. It cackled again and flew into the air to watch Somebody's deliberations. The left path led to Death, the right to Pain, while the middle led to Luck. It anticipated that Somebody would be deterred from the middle path by the gate and bones, believing it led to Fate.

Meanwhile, Somebody was staggering through the swamp-like desert it had found itself in. Ambition still warming it with it's gaze. Suddenly the desert ended and Somebody nearly fell into the signpost. Reading carefully it thought... It quickly realized that this test had been put here by Fate, and concluded that it could trust nothing the sign said. Too easy. It chose the middle path and having climbed the boulder (no easy task, but we will skip it so that this story doesn't end up with an M rating for course language and cruelty to boulders) proceeded.

Of course Fate was astounded, it had not planned this and felt as though to favric of it's purpose was unravelling around it. This contemplation did not last long, as Fate reached out to test the fabric and found it was indeed intact, just a little ruffled.

Somebody was pleased at it's own brilliance, though the path did not appear to get any easier. It was at this point when Somebody's brilliance struck again. It looked around and saw that only the sections of the path which Ambition gazed at were difficult and teacherous. This was a huge decision, if Somebody had their Ambition facing somewhere else, they might lose faith... Then again Ambition was making the path almost impossible now. It decided to leave Ambition facing the way it was, and deal with the trials this created.

It was while Somebody was considering this, that it reached the cave of Luck. The cave was on top of a dorman volcano, and surrounded by dead trees which had fallen around it. Somebody was worried, but soon realied that the magic of Luck protected anyone within some distance of the cave. It found some natural stone steps leading to the cave. Finally he reached the mouth of the cave.

Fate at this point was beside itself (which is leterally possible as it doesn't have a physical form). It was so upset that the people being created at that time were all destined to die in the mose painful ways possible. However it suddenly realised that there was a chance Luck might refuse to help Someobdy. In fact - wait a moment. Chance? CHANCE? There was no Chance...

But Fate had not made a decision, and had in fact brought itself to it's own destruction. Chance now reigned. Chance, unlike Fate, looked favourably upon Somebody, and Luck joined the clan, with Glory soon following along.

So the moral you ask? Let's go back to our earlier analogy. One won a race, it had the Ambition to find it's own Luck, when Luck could not find it. When it won it gained Glory. Two had lost Luck, through a lack of effort on it's part. Everyone now had the Chance to rule their own lives.

THE END

Tehe, do you like it? I do. There's still nobody online so I'll write my other one on here... By the way it's a bit confusing cause I was practising writing in second person, and I'm not very good at it. It's also a little depressing (or I think it is anyway) Have fun reading!!!

The Quest For Truth

You search for Truth, but who is Truth? Some would say what is Truth, but that would be an insult to one of the mightiest forces in our World (Yes mightier than the pen even). You have asked others who Truth is, though none could give you a clear answer, indeed some were biased by religion, others by upbringing generally. Surely Truth could not be known to any of these people, you needed to find someone above that. Who could be completely unbiased by any person whom they belive is more knoweledgable and has more Wisdom in them?

You had travelled through many lands, searched rainforessts and deserts. You had found many people who believed that they were the aquaintance of Truth. Really these sad people had been visited by Lies in disguise (no rhyming intended) and had incased their mind in his powerful Net.

Even the hermit you had found in a cave on an island. The island was inhabited only by the hermit and the animals who kept him company. This man did not have an answer for you, although he was a good friend of Wisdom and understood that Truth could be found only in the most desolate and isolated place outside Earth. You had been puzzled by this, surely nobody could travel outside Earth?

The hermit had informed you that the ability of your own imaginaion far exceeded any machine that could be made by humans. He had believed that the place where you woud find Truth would be more real than the Earth you were inhabiting at that moment. Unfortunately, as he had said this, Death had cut his thread of Life, and he could tell you no more. The wildlife had simply given you an odd look.

You still ponder the words of the hermit. He had told you to use your imagination, but how could such a place be imagined without Inspiration? You now go to great writers, who have imagined other Worlds. THey will give you some insight surely?

The first writer you ask says that she simply dreams, and these places appear, or she sees a picture of a place and imagines how it could be more than it is. You ask if she has a picture of desolation. She gives you a small painting wrapped in butcher's paper. You thank her and leave. The painting depicts a blackened field, with charred grass and a thin layer of ash. Although desolate, it doesn't seem awful enough to you. You attempt to imagine it worse, but nothing happens.

You go on like this for months, asking all the people you have heard of. None know Truth, none know desolation. Finally you fall into the clutches of Despair. The darkeness is suffocating, no light or colour reflects from the ice covering the stone floor. No breeze or sound can penetrate the solid walls of Darkness. Your senses become useless. You see Despair in your mind, and you feel him laugh within you.

Finally, in this prison with no walls, you dream. You are flying through shattered colours, and every dimension that exists. You arrive in a palce, similar to Despair's den. This place has no floor. You fall. Though no sound, sight or breeze tells you this. Just the feeling in your stomach. Surely this is the most desolate place outside Earth? You call out for Truth. There is no answer. Not even an echo. You call and cry in vain. You find the floor. It hits you. Shatters you.

You wake. You see trees and the sky. You wake. You smell the city air. You wake. You feel the softness of your bed. You wake. You hear a pounding in your head.

You die.

The purpose of life is to find Truth. When you find the Truth though, is when you realize that there is no Truth. Truth is dead.

Well I hope everyone had fun reading those! It has begun to storm so I might publish this before we have a blackout. Ciao