And the bad news parade marches on...
So, on Sunday I was meant to go to Jasha's leaving thing... I didn't. I didn't even call. I'm sorry.
On Sunday morning my horse died. Darcy, the horse I had for 5 and a half years. The horse I owe everything to. He took me from pony club to one* eventing... He taught me how to fall off (many times)... he taught me how to stay on (hopefully a few more times than the former)... He was the love of my life. The first moment I saw him we 'clicked'.
He was a super talented jumper. We did a high-jump competition as the lunch-time entertainment at the world cup polo game last year and we came fourth, jumping 1.35m! He was only little but he had so much heart, and talent, and attitude.
I had him all that time, and on the morning I was told that he'd died I couldn't see him because of this equine influenza. Because I work for Sandy I couldn't go to the place where I keep him. He tested positive for EI, and it would mean I would infect all of the horses at Sandy's. If you heard the reports on the news that a horse died from it in Wilberforce, that's him. He had to go out with a bang, and he did.
I think I actually know what it means to have a broken heart... first Zeus and now this, all in the space of a week. I've never cried so much in my life and it's not getting any better. When I don't cry I'm just numb, I can't think of anything. I've been hopeless at my job because I'm just going on instinct, I don't notice things, I don't think about what I'm doing. I just can't. I just so want for this year to be over. I'm tired of bad news, and with all competitions cancelled and all horses in lock-down I don't exactly have much to look forward to.
I don't know why I'm writing this on the net for everyone to read, considering that I can't even speak to people at the moment... but I guess that's the amazing ability of blogger.
On Sunday morning my horse died. Darcy, the horse I had for 5 and a half years. The horse I owe everything to. He took me from pony club to one* eventing... He taught me how to fall off (many times)... he taught me how to stay on (hopefully a few more times than the former)... He was the love of my life. The first moment I saw him we 'clicked'.
He was a super talented jumper. We did a high-jump competition as the lunch-time entertainment at the world cup polo game last year and we came fourth, jumping 1.35m! He was only little but he had so much heart, and talent, and attitude.
I had him all that time, and on the morning I was told that he'd died I couldn't see him because of this equine influenza. Because I work for Sandy I couldn't go to the place where I keep him. He tested positive for EI, and it would mean I would infect all of the horses at Sandy's. If you heard the reports on the news that a horse died from it in Wilberforce, that's him. He had to go out with a bang, and he did.
I think I actually know what it means to have a broken heart... first Zeus and now this, all in the space of a week. I've never cried so much in my life and it's not getting any better. When I don't cry I'm just numb, I can't think of anything. I've been hopeless at my job because I'm just going on instinct, I don't notice things, I don't think about what I'm doing. I just can't. I just so want for this year to be over. I'm tired of bad news, and with all competitions cancelled and all horses in lock-down I don't exactly have much to look forward to.
I don't know why I'm writing this on the net for everyone to read, considering that I can't even speak to people at the moment... but I guess that's the amazing ability of blogger.
MoNoPoLiSeD @ 11:24 pm
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