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OK well don't worry, I won't be telling a useless story about shrubs today. I have no idea where that came from anyway! Well I saw Oceans 12 last night with mum and her friend. It was pretty good, her friend has a son my age and I usually like talking to him but he was working so yes we were just talking to his mum. (Just for Steph and Wilson that's who I was talking about the other night) Apparently his sister/her daughter is being a pain in the ass again, which is a shame, she used to be but then she got better, but apparently now she's all messed up and stuff and I'm meant to talk to her on Boxing Day when we have all the family friends over here. Don't you just love trying to talk to messed up 13 year olds? And an obnoxious one like that is particularly difficult to get through to. I dunno, her mum reckons that maybe she'll talk to me... I doubt it but I suppose I have to try, she can be nice occasionally, and by the sounds of it there is seriously something wrong.
Anyway I want to do some schoolwork today, cause I've been neglecting it. I've been writing this story on my computer upstairs, and its now 11 pages (which I'm quite proud of considering I only allow myself half an hour a day to write it)... So yes I want to do school work so that I'm more than up to date when I get back, I hate falling behind, I think that's the only time when I get stressed over school is if I fall behind and then don't understand something. That's why I dropped Latin. It's stupid though cause I don't want to be at school, but I want to do well, but I don't really want to put any effort in! They all kind of work against eachother! Ah well! I just yeah basically wish that I could end up doing well in school, but not have to work hard at it.
And if our next maths teacher is bad and I don't understand something I'm going to stress about it but I have nowhere to go cause I'll be down to ten units by then. Shite. Oh well... Hopefully if I beg and plead and hope hard enough they will be a good teacher and I'll understand. Otherwise I'll just have to get ms Irvine to tutor me or something. It's general maths so it's a bit stupid thinking that I won't understand it, but my brain has the capacity to make me incredibly stupid at will.
Hm I rode my horse yesterday and he was a little asshole, I don't know what to do with him any more.. I don't know if I really want to keep him, cause I've worked my ass off for three years and when you think of it simply I have gotten nowhere with him, he does the same stuff he used to do when I bought him, just at a higher level and he does worse stuff now too.. I don't know if I can take it any more. It just kind of makes it harder to get on with everything else when something I usually love doing seems to be falling apart. It just depresses me, and I can't even tell Gendy about it cause she just had her twins a few days ago and I don't want to wreck her mood. So yes I don't know what I'm going to do and I hate it, I just want it to be fixed for me, or to go back in time when I was still having lessons with Gendy and ask her what to do, cause it sounds really sad but I'm so lost without her advice, I have no clue what to do and it sucks. I felt so stupid sitting on him yesterday crying and the neighbours were standing in their back paddock just watching me. It felt so stupid but I still couldn't stop. Even digging that ditch didn't help my mood. I want to go for a run but I still can't really run on my foot so yes it just sucks. Maybe I should take up kick boxing or something similar that will get all my anger and stuff out?
Gar. I dunno. Anyway um onto happier topics. I don't really have any at the moment, the whole horse thing is just annoying me. I still want to go up to the farm but it's not going to happen, mum's idea of a compromise is going up to Ballaner (or however you spell it) with her and staying with the woman we were at dinner with last night and her son, daughter, husband, and all the other family friends. I don't think she quite gets the hint that I want to go to the farm to get away from people, not just socialize with more of them! I hate being social when I'm in a bad mood, and I don't see it going away so I don't see myself being very social. Then she'll get angry and I'll feel really bad cause she is just trying to make me happy by going on holiday, but I don't want to be around people any more.
In fact I'd be really happy if it was like last year when her and dad went up there and left me here for ten days. It was so good, I don't get lonely, I'm happy on my own. People are good sometimes but they just don't get stuff. It sounds stupid but I can just sit on the veranda with my dogs and come in happier than I would if I'd been talking to a good friend. Animals just get stuff like that, people dont.
This is sounding like a bitch session aint it? Yes it is. I'm reading a book at the moment, it's not very good but it's mildly entertaining. I just want to finish it.
Oh crap. Peters xmas party thing is on wednesday isnt it? yes it is. and I just told my boss I can work on wednesday. Shite. Sorry Peter. I'll sms him in a second. Oooopsss I knew there was something I was doing! Geez. Oh well, at least its a way to get out of seeing people. I'm considering what wilson said about staying in my room for three days straight. That'd be good. I couldn't cause I'm meant to be having a lesson tomorrow but it'd be good. Maybe I can cancel my lesson? Na probably shouldn't that's a bit mean.
Anyway I'm going to stop complaining now, so byez
Anyway I want to do some schoolwork today, cause I've been neglecting it. I've been writing this story on my computer upstairs, and its now 11 pages (which I'm quite proud of considering I only allow myself half an hour a day to write it)... So yes I want to do school work so that I'm more than up to date when I get back, I hate falling behind, I think that's the only time when I get stressed over school is if I fall behind and then don't understand something. That's why I dropped Latin. It's stupid though cause I don't want to be at school, but I want to do well, but I don't really want to put any effort in! They all kind of work against eachother! Ah well! I just yeah basically wish that I could end up doing well in school, but not have to work hard at it.
And if our next maths teacher is bad and I don't understand something I'm going to stress about it but I have nowhere to go cause I'll be down to ten units by then. Shite. Oh well... Hopefully if I beg and plead and hope hard enough they will be a good teacher and I'll understand. Otherwise I'll just have to get ms Irvine to tutor me or something. It's general maths so it's a bit stupid thinking that I won't understand it, but my brain has the capacity to make me incredibly stupid at will.
Hm I rode my horse yesterday and he was a little asshole, I don't know what to do with him any more.. I don't know if I really want to keep him, cause I've worked my ass off for three years and when you think of it simply I have gotten nowhere with him, he does the same stuff he used to do when I bought him, just at a higher level and he does worse stuff now too.. I don't know if I can take it any more. It just kind of makes it harder to get on with everything else when something I usually love doing seems to be falling apart. It just depresses me, and I can't even tell Gendy about it cause she just had her twins a few days ago and I don't want to wreck her mood. So yes I don't know what I'm going to do and I hate it, I just want it to be fixed for me, or to go back in time when I was still having lessons with Gendy and ask her what to do, cause it sounds really sad but I'm so lost without her advice, I have no clue what to do and it sucks. I felt so stupid sitting on him yesterday crying and the neighbours were standing in their back paddock just watching me. It felt so stupid but I still couldn't stop. Even digging that ditch didn't help my mood. I want to go for a run but I still can't really run on my foot so yes it just sucks. Maybe I should take up kick boxing or something similar that will get all my anger and stuff out?
Gar. I dunno. Anyway um onto happier topics. I don't really have any at the moment, the whole horse thing is just annoying me. I still want to go up to the farm but it's not going to happen, mum's idea of a compromise is going up to Ballaner (or however you spell it) with her and staying with the woman we were at dinner with last night and her son, daughter, husband, and all the other family friends. I don't think she quite gets the hint that I want to go to the farm to get away from people, not just socialize with more of them! I hate being social when I'm in a bad mood, and I don't see it going away so I don't see myself being very social. Then she'll get angry and I'll feel really bad cause she is just trying to make me happy by going on holiday, but I don't want to be around people any more.
In fact I'd be really happy if it was like last year when her and dad went up there and left me here for ten days. It was so good, I don't get lonely, I'm happy on my own. People are good sometimes but they just don't get stuff. It sounds stupid but I can just sit on the veranda with my dogs and come in happier than I would if I'd been talking to a good friend. Animals just get stuff like that, people dont.
This is sounding like a bitch session aint it? Yes it is. I'm reading a book at the moment, it's not very good but it's mildly entertaining. I just want to finish it.
Oh crap. Peters xmas party thing is on wednesday isnt it? yes it is. and I just told my boss I can work on wednesday. Shite. Sorry Peter. I'll sms him in a second. Oooopsss I knew there was something I was doing! Geez. Oh well, at least its a way to get out of seeing people. I'm considering what wilson said about staying in my room for three days straight. That'd be good. I couldn't cause I'm meant to be having a lesson tomorrow but it'd be good. Maybe I can cancel my lesson? Na probably shouldn't that's a bit mean.
Anyway I'm going to stop complaining now, so byez
MoNoPoLiSeD @ 9:59 am
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